At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
