I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
