I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
