am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
