I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
