she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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