you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize