they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
