I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
