You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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