mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
time to smoke my breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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