just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
