That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
