Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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