You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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