we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
