So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
