you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize