What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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