I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
