I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
