Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I am naked and annoyed.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
