I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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