Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
