Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house