thanks...oh and i got my period
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?