Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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