He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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