Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
not ubering you a puppy
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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