I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
