I wish I only lived at night.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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