The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
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