Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
