Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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