We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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