and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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