marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
