you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize