physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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