this boner is exhausting
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
