we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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