so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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