used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
