This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
