I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
