also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
