also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
