so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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