Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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