You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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