so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
do herpes really smell.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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