I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
