Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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