p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
