I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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